Sorry guys - but we’re taking a break from the unrelenting onslaught of synth and electronic music news to take a look at Scarlett Johansson. She’s got a new album out - an iTunes exclusive - that showcases her pipes. It features a take on the Cure’s Boys Don’t Cry, along with several Tom Waits covers. Unfortunately, Scarlett Johansson’s Live Session EP is by all accounts, spectacularly terrible. She may be the hottest woman in the world, but her music is, and this is a direct quote, “music to slit your wrists by”. The iTunes reviews of this album are truly scathing: You would think they would have pitch correction or something, but this sounds terribly out of tune. This album leaves a lot to be desired. Namely, the desire to never hear her sing again. Why why why! Why do I have to give this 1 star. Why is there no option for zero stars? Sounds like Scarlett Johansson Dead Session E. My ears are bleeding. This is ridiculously bad! You would have to be deaf to buy this crap. Is there a negative star rating? I haven’t heard anything this bad since Shatner covered “Lucy in the Sky” This is more like groaning to poor music. Please. Make. This. Stop. Sounds like the female version of a bad Hootie and the Blowfish song. My ears have never bled the way they bled today. Disaster! I keep waiting to hear a pack of dogs wailing in the background. This is beyond awful. Hell would be getting strapped down and forced to listen to this… After hearing this, I wanted to kill myself. Well, she’s pretty and a good actress. Now we know why so many actresses turn to electronic music producers to do their magic, right?

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